Who is my friend

I don’t exactly know why I am posting this. When I came onWordPress; I promised myself, I would only write on substantive things. While this does not meet my then definition of substantive, I still felt this appropriate to post, so bear with me.

Over the years, I have heard the statements “you have weird friends” or “why do you have such friends” a number of times. Each time something like this is said, I politely answer them that I love my friends the way they are, but have often wondered what exactly makes me love them.

People have friends who get them gifts, who are present for their presentations and convocations and other important days. People have friends who remember birthdays, and make sure those days are special, friends who are equally active on their weddings, friends who make you feel special.

I on the other hand, have friends who like to keep busy (as do I), with whom I barely manage to keep in touch with, not meeting for months on end despite living in the same city, friends who forget birthdays and when they remember they only manage wishes through messages or if I am lucky through a phone call. I know what you are wondering, why do I have such friends. I will give you the same answer that I give everyone else, it’s because I love them.

I have never had many friends, as a matter of fact, growing up I didn’t really have friends. Today, I have six friends who I swear by, and I am proud to say that; that is more than what a lot of people can say. Some of these friends I have had for more than a decade, some for almost a decade and I haven’t regretted it once. These six individuals, are my family outside of blood relations, They are the ones I trust with my life in many ways, and are probably the only ones outside my family I wouldn’t mind dying for.

The people who know me, know I don’t place such trust in people easily, once bitten twice shy applies very dearly to me. So what is it about these six that has made me stick with them, swear by them? If it isn’t clear yet, I don’t measure the value of friends by their ability to give gifts or make grand gestures, or even remember birthdays (though that does sting a little). My barometer for my friends is simple, my friends are those with whom I don’t have to pretend, those who accept me with all my flaws, all my quirks and irritating habits, the ones whom I can show my darkest sides to.

My friends are those who have tolerated my quirks, my doubts, my idiocies with exasperation and patience (though not always). My friends are those who were my silent support during some of my worst times, standing by me, catching me when I stumbled and waiting for me to get my feet back under me. My friends are those who have been my mirrors in a way, not mincing words and speaking their mind clearly, not bothering with diplomacy on most occasions. My friends are those who have seen all the bad of my personality and have yet for some reason decided to stick around. My friends are those who have the power to destroy me if they so please, but have chosen not to. My friends are those who I can imagine knowing for the next 40-50 years of my life, sharing the journey with them and looking back with them and saying; we did good.

I suppose this post is a shout out to those six. The six who have proven time and again, family doesn’t end with blood. I am proud to have known them and call them my friend, as I hope they consider me. For the others I suppose this is a hope that you too get to experience such friendship.



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