Once again, back from a long break but finally came across something I felt like talking about. I recently saw an interview of an actor I really like and he said something I deeply associate with and decided to share it. He basically said that every relationship requires work and effort. I completely agree with that. Every relationship, whether with your significant other or with your parents, siblings or friends, requires work and nurturing.
We definitely put in effort towards the ones we love, the ones we want to spend the rest of our lives with, but I don’t know why; when it comes to the other relations in our life we tend to take them for granted. I agree; our parents and siblings will probably be in our life no matter what, but is that really enough. Is it enough to just have them in our life? seeing them only once every few years? not even knowing what is happening in their lives? or them knowing what is happening in yours? I am not close to all of my immediate family members either, but I am a lot closer to most of my relations than most people I know. I know so many people who barely have time for their own families, of people who have missed their own sibling’s weddings because they were too busy.
Also, what about people who can walk away, your friends. I have lost count of the number of people who have told me that its nice that you are close to your friends, but wait another five years, let everyone get married then you wont even see them for years and suddenly you will have no friends left. First off, to them I say (ever so politely) go take a hike and secondly I agree, if you don’t bother to keep in touch then obviously you won’t have anyone left.
I agree that every relationship requires effort, whether that means going out with your friends on the only day off you have had in months, just to spend some time with, or stopping over at your friend’s place at 11:00 at night for half an hour cause that’s literally the only time you both have, going out with your brother for a movie even when you are falling asleep on your feet, saying no to a project because you will miss your parent’s anniversary or your friend’s wedding, moving heaven and hell so that you can attend a friend’s wedding, cancelling some plans you had with your friends because your mom wants to spend some time with you etc.
It is said, treat others how you would like to be treated, this applies here as well. There is no better way to tell someone you are important to them than making specific efforts spend some time with them. I know our careers today make it really difficult to take out time for anything else, and most of the free time is spend catching up on sleep, I will say this, at the end of the day, it is not your job or your allocades or even the house and car and technology you own that will stand on your funeral and shed a tear for you, it is your family and your friends, the people in your life.
I know of people who had miscarriages because they were working too hard, of someone who died of a heart attack at the age of 30 because of stress, of people who are getting divorced just cause they don’t have time, who never married cause they didn’t have time to meet people and fall in love or get an arranged marriage.
Please don’t let that be you. Take out time for everyone who is important in your life, even if it is just a call in a month, trust me in todays time that is also a big deal. Nurture your relationships, so that 30 years down the line, at your kid’s weddings, the largest number is your friends and families and not just business colleagues.