Yearning continues 

It’s not always that I am retrospective or rather introspective, but when I am I usually on a roll. As of now I am on a small drive to a local dam in the area where I will hopefully see some gharials or alligators. However unfortunately today all my thoughts are for some reason occupied with my home. Today my parents are headed to spend the weekend at my aunt’s and I am glad I am not there because I hate visiting my dad’s family. Alas, this is just one of those days where I still wish I was home where I could tell my dad that I won’t be going, where I could curl up on my bed, with my pillows, my blanket and my lumpy mattress. I wish I was home where I could laze around in my night shirt all day, not bother with how I look or who thinks what. 

I guess in a way I am homesick, I am have been out home for more than a week and still have a couple of days to go, then thankfully a week of staying at home. This is in no way the first time I have been out of my home for this long and as long as I continue with this job it sure as hell won’t be the last but for some reason I just want my mom this time. 

I am someone who enjoys having people I love and care around me and it’s been more than a week that I have seen my mom and a lot more since I have seen my brother and my friends. People call me co-dependent, but my argument is that if you can’t share your life with someone, if you don’t have anyone to make memories with, then really what is the point. What is the. Point if I see something amazing and I turn around, just that there is no one to share it with me, no one who would understand my excitement. But I suppose that is what people say that growing up is, letting go of things, relationships and emotions. In such cases I am always I am reminded of a Taylor Swift song line… I never wanna grow up. 

Anyways here’s to hoping I see the gharials. 


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